Scene - Hotel Stables, North of Ireland. Captain: "Hullo, Pat! What the deuce are you doing to the old mare?" -- Pat: "Well, you see, Capt'in, our old black hearse horse went lame yesterday that was wanted for Squire Doherty's funeral, so I'm paintin' up the ould grey for the service. You see her body won't show, by rason o' the housin's, and I'll have to wash her clane ag'in for Miss McGinnety's weddin' on the morrow!"