Mike Conway Mike Conway lives in Ohio, and as a way of an introduction, Mike tells us the following:Mike Conway's Storys
"In between my second and third marriage, I resolved to answer questions I had actively avoided: Who am I? Who am I without family or friends to validate my existence? Who am I without modern life's distractions: work, food and fun. Who am I beyond the labels assigned by self and others, 46-year old hippie Teamster, divorced father of a daughter in College and the middle child in a family of seven.
To answer these questions I sought the assistance of Strong Eagle, a Native American friend who facilitates vision quest rites of passage in the Chiuahuan desert of southwest Texas.
As I began the year long preparation for my vision quest, I reflected on what I once believed to be my rites of passage. Getting my drivers' license at the age of sixteen, since I'd been "borrowing" my Dad's car for two years that event held little significance for me. Turning eighteen and being able to buy beer; I first started drinking when I was in the eighth grade, so that merely allowed me to discard my false ID's. I realized the only event that might be considered a rite of passage was when I entered a treatment center to deal with alcohol and drug abuse. While in the treatment center I confronted my addiction, but before going to the desert I had never confronted myself.
Once alone in the desert I sprinkled tobacco around a twenty-foot perimeter and was determined to remain within this circle while I fasted and prayed for four days. It was only a matter of hours before the demons of distraction were revealed to me. Boredom showed up first and enabled me to experience how important it was to always have something to do, say or read so that I wouldn't have to feel. Fear appeared next as I questioned my ability to withstand the desert's restless winds. Shame emerged as the abject darkness of the desert night imploded upon me.
As the sun rose on the fourth morning I vowed to stop fighting myself. I severed the ties to my needy adolescent restraints of doubt and insecurity. I refused to listen to the voices of shame that bellowed, "You'll never be enough."
Through Vision Quest, the Creator has revealed to me that I am never alone. I am an integral part of the Web of Life and there are many teachers, guides and allies, seen and unseen, known and unknown, willing to assist me on my journey through life. I have found a safe and sacred place, my own heart.
Today I feel connected to life and connected with the spirit that moves through all things. I acknowledge my place on the wheel of life and accept the responsibility of being human. This responsibility dictates that I respect and utilize the greatest gift the Creator has bestowed upon me, the gift of choice. Within my circle of being I choose to create and appreciate beauty, not to ignore or destroy beauty. I choose to nurture and defend life, not to be apart of disease or destruction.
Today I am a man who has been shaped by his past, but is not controlled by it. I am content with living a simple, sober life and allowing myself to be a mystery that will never completely be solved."