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The Humor Essays of Sheila Moss Gone Fishin’
© 1999 Sheila Moss
Being a long weekend, it seems a shame to waste it, so my friend and I decide to visit the aquarium. I'm not really sure that fish will be very interesting, but, what the heck, nothing else around here to do except fight the crowds at the shopping malls, and who wants to do that?
As it turns out, the aquarium is a pretty nifty place. I've never seen so many fish in my life, all colors and sizes. The huge water tanks and large expanses of glass give the feeling and illusion of being underwater. The fish, are cooperatively fishy, swimming up to the glass and looking at me eyeball to eyeball…strange feeling. They almost seemed to enjoy interaction with people. Probably just wondering what kind of food I am.
Anyhow, I'm not too excited until we come to a region called the “Delta”. Here is where the fish really become pretty. They are pink, blue, and yellow - every color you can imagine! Man, I don't want to leave - even though I secretly figure I could be getting pretty low on oxygen from being "underwater" for so long
The jellyfish area is especially interesting. The jellyfish sort of swim around like small size umbrellas opening and closing gracefully. The largest collection is called “Moon Jellyfish”. They are really quite attractive - I hardly mind being mooned at all.
There are so many types and varieties that it becomes impossible to keep track after a while. I hang around the Russian Sturgeon tank for quite a while hoping for a donation of caviar, but I guess they are planning a party of their own later. They never oblige.
Some lizards in an above water display catch my attention. One ugly fellow looks at me from his perch on a tree branch and smiles. I think he wants to get his picture taken. Probably working for tips. Another lizard with long claws scurries up a tree. Boy, I'd hate to run into him in my back yard. Thank goodness, he is native to New Guinea. Remind me to never go to New Guinea. The paddlefish are quite odd. They are pre-historic looking with long beak-like paddles for noses. Some of them swim with their mouths wide open, which causes the light to shine through their bodies and light up the inside of their mouth as they swim. Also, interesting are the piranha, which are attired in their party wear complete with gold glitter sprinkles. Don't know if they remembered to brush their teeth or not, but I sure am not gonna be the one to ask ‘em.
I ended up watching the fish being fed. The ducks and turtles like this part even better than the tourists and mooch up the minnow and squid. Those critters seem to eat better food than we do! Hate to pick up the tab when they dine out.
So, the day at the aquarium is a great success. My fingers may be a bit wrinkled from being under water so long. I can hardly wait to go back - probably the mental effects of oxygen deprivation.
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