....© 2000, Kimit A. Muston
I suggest all the tax payers in California chip in and buy Insurance Commissioner Chuck Quackenbush a dictionary. It would appear he is a little confused about the definitions of some words and this has gotten him into a lot of trouble.
Mr. Quackenbush's linguistic difficulties began after the 1994 Northridge earthquake when he created two foundations, one to encourage earthquake education and the other to support earthquake research. Praise worthy causes, both of them, but he funded these foundations by first threatening insurance companies with huge fines - almost three billion (that's with a "B") dollars for State Farm alone, and then suggesting they could all avoid paying those catastrophic amounts by giving 11.5 million (that's with an "M") dollars to his foundations. Guess which option the industry chose.
But "fines" must be deposited into the general fund, to benefit taxpayers, and so the commissioner began, instead to call them "contributions", which can benefit anybody the commissioner chooses. And it would appear that the commissioner chose himself.
The research foundation has not spent a dime on research. And the largest single expense of the education foundation was four million dollars for television commercials staring Mr. Quackenbush and Mr. Shaquille O'Neal, whom I am told is a basketball player. Those commercials told us all that earthquakes are dangerous and looked a lot like "campaign ads" but those would have been illegal. The commissioner rather calls them "educational spots".
Who else got money? Well, among others, Skillz, a football scouting and training camp, attended by both of Mr. Quackenbush's sons, got $263,000. His chief political consultant, Joe Shumate, got a hundred grand for services, not to mention the $175,000 he got for legal work on those campaign ads/ education spots.
In fairness, some worthy causes also got money from the foundation. Here in Southern California, Athletes & Entertainers for Kids, which helps at risk children, got a nice check. But at the same time six million dollars in restitution for actual earthquake victims cheated by their insurance companies has still not been sent out, six years after the actual quake.
Perhaps the most interesting aspect to these troubles of the commissioner is that the insurance companies are helping to nail him. I didn't think I'd ever see the insurance industry complained about Chuck Quackenbush. That just goes to show you how much trouble he's in.
So, as part of my civic duty I would like to offer to Mr. Quackenbush some immediate relief, a few quick working definitions he can use while he waits for his new dictionary to arrive.
First, it is not called "charity" when you use other people's money. (As my mother used to say, using other people's money to impress your friends is stealing from one and fibbing to the other.) Second, to be a "contribution" it must be voluntary. Third, to be "educational" it should tell us something we don't already know. And fourth, a public servant is supposed to serve the public, not himself.
Kimit A.Muston is a writer living in North Hollywood. His work may also be seen in the Los Angeles Times and the Los Angeles Daily News.