The Essays of Sam Person
Bridge
October 23, 1999
My involvement with bridge is rather new, having begun not too long after my
recent retirement.
At the time of my retirement, friends, relatives, and associates seemed
concerned that a “type A” personality like myself would actually retire from
the world of work, daily responsibilities, and challenges. On the other
hand, they did feel retirement would be beneficial because with involvement
there comes grief and stress, from which I would now be “liberated.” I was
quick to point out that I didn’t get ulcers, but rather, I gave them, and
that I was retiring because of a desire to come and go as I pleased, and, as
they say, “smell the roses.”
In any event, my wife was petrified that I would now be around the house
(and underfoot) all day. I also remembered well the words of a dear friend
who told me that the worst danger in retirement is to hang around the house
all day in one’s pajamas; something which had to be avoided at all costs.
Bridge, they said, would be a good “intellectual” outlet for me since a) as
a CPA I had an affinity for numbers, b) I was known to enjoy poker, gin
rummy, and an occasional visit to a blackjack table, and, c) had a good
memory.
Thus, coupling this suggestion with my wife’s concern that I would be around
too much, I promised that we would take bridge lessons.
I knew that bridge was a very popular game, and that it was enjoyed
throughout the world, and had been for ages. Little did I realize how much
more was involved. I have come to learn that bridge is very much like being
a fan of the old Brooklyn Dodgers; it is a way of life more than a game.
In the past, I had pictured bridge in two contexts. First, I thought of it
as something people do in order to kill time in college, in the military,
and in other such environments which lend themselves to idle time. Also, I
knew that it was a serious social undertaking, as witnessed by the fact that
I would occasionally hear or read of celebrity bridge players. For example,
Dwight and Mamie Eisenhower had a steady game, and one of the Newport, RI,
Vanderbilts is credited with having helped codify a good number of the
American Bridge rules that continue to this day.
Other than that, I didn’t think too much about bridge. After our
engagement, my wife’s bridge playing from college days essentially ended
since I did not play. Over the past 45 or so years, on several occasions,
she suggested that we take lessons since so many people did play social
bridge. I actually did try once or twice, and never got past the first
lesson.
It is not surprising that I couldn’t get past the first lesson, since I am a
difficult audience in a classroom setting, having been a university
professor myself. As a result, I can’t sit still when anybody else
professes.
So lessons never happened, and the years rolled by. We came to have friends
who were “life masters,” a sign to me, at least, of great experience and/or
skill. However, it seemed that their whole life was involved in playing
bridge at one place or another, something I couldn’t understand.
Finally, being retired, and anxious to keep the pledge made many years
before, I agreed to take a few lessons with my wife, and thus began my life
playing, learning, and becoming addicted to the game. I must say that my
introduction to the game and continuing involvement with it has an added
dimension; the Internet.
In other times and other places, one’s involvement with the game would be
limited to contact with “in the flesh” human beings. Today, however, the
ability to interact with other players on various web sites has created an
additional dimension.
In the past several months, as my experience with bridge grew, I have
learned a few things, which I shall attempt to enumerate and enlarge upon.
First of all, in addition to being a game and/or way of life, bridge is also
a substantial industry. In order not to be too cynical, I will concede that
the game came before the industry. But I do not doubt that the number of
people who play on any given day are in the tens of thousands, and that cash
registers ring all over the world.
Bridge clubs abound in every hamlet that has a room large enough to hold a
few tables and chairs. Those who operate the clubs don’t do it for
altruistic reasons. There are tournaments, cruises, software packages,
lessons, and what have you. Now, I believe in free enterprise, and I do not
begrudge any entrepreneur his/her right to achieve wealth. Further, I do
not believe in counting the other person’s money or being envious of his or
her success; rather, my point is that bridge is a veritable industry, one to
which I contribute, of course. Maybe I am a little jealous that I couldn’t
get a piece of the action.
In the context of the money-generating aspects of bridge, I have not even
mentioned the number of Internet web sites that offer the game, some of
which are free, but some of which are fee-based. The Internet Bridge
presence, I believe, will grow and evolve further, and more money will be
made.
My wife and I took a series of lessons at a local bridge club, and learned
some basic playing techniques. There are many clubs which offer brief
lessons combined with a good deal of play. To me, that is ideal, since I
believe that you learn by playing, not by extensive lecture. Of interest,
however, is the fact that some of the clubs also offer lunch or dinner, so
that bridge players may a) hear a brief lecture, b) play some cards, and, c)
stuff themselves silly.
The number of clubs is staggering. But, don’t take my word for it. Visit the
web site of the American Contract Bridge League and observe that you can
play bridge at a club almost any time of the day anywhere in the United
States.
One recent week my wife and I visited three different clubs and found
ourselves equally ill at ease at all three. In a nutshell, I recommend going
to a bridge club only if you are very thick skinned, and expect very little
social interaction.
Bridge players, at least those who are to be found at bridge clubs, are very
serious people. Very often they are more likely to sit down and say “hurry
up” than they are to introduce themselves. Of course, it could be that my
wife and I are at fault. She is a friendly sort, and likes to introduce us
to new people, and I enjoy a friendly conversation. Neither, it seems, mesh
with the bridge club scene, as a general rule.
After our week of visiting bridge clubs, we have sworn off them.
The last straw, perhaps, occurred at 10PM one evening when a lady with whom
we were playing challenged my honesty over a very simple mistake that I had
made in playing the wrong card. Despite the fact that I apologized, assured
her of no ill intent, and conceded the error and the trick to her, she
insisted that the Club Director see what took place for “proof.” Proof of
what, I do not know, since I went as far as to say that she could claim a
grand slam as far as I was concerned.
My honor was brought into question. Thus, much to my wife’s embarrassment, I
got up and left, only to be informed by the Director that because I was new
to the club and didn’t know better, he would not report me to the American
Contract Bridge League for leaving a game, which is a substantial “no no.”
He warned that if he were to do so I would be “banned” from other clubs,
which of course I doubt in any event since my wife and I represent
approximately $18 for taking up two chairs for two hours, and we do not eat
too much of the type and quality of food which is generally offered.
Now, this incident was bad enough. But, earlier that evening, we were
totally destroyed by our opponents in a hand that I had idiotically bid too
high, and could not possibly make. I didn’t mind losing, but our opponents
might have been gracious and uttered “bad luck” or words to that effect,
which I surely would have done. But, their attitude was one of “next hand
please.”
In essence, I do not find bridge clubs to be the genteel places one might
picture in bringing to mind the images of the Newport, RI, Vanderbilts, and
other social lions.
What disturbs me more about the game than anything else is the number of
“conventions” which one can possibly invoke. I am far from an expert at the
game, clearly a novice, and have no illusions about ever being an expert
player. But, I do think there are far too many conventions. Indeed, bridge
clubs offer players pre-printed sheets of paper upon which they can list
their chosen conventions.
The preponderance of conventions, I believe, can be very confusing to all
except two partners who understand each other completely. I am reminded of a
movie with Bob Hope called “Son of Paleface,” a roaring comedy of some years
ago.
There is a great saloon scene, in which Bob, playing an easterner new to the
raucous west, inadvertently finds himself challenged to a gunfight. As he
heads to his fate in the street, several local citizens offer him advice,
most of which is contradictory. Bob absorbs all the differing opinions, and
repeats them as he heads outside. He was so confused that as he gets to the
door, he trips on his own feet, and falls on his face. This degree of
confusion best expresses my impression with respect to the many conventions
one can choose from.
The Internet is where I have had the most fun with bridge, and have had the
most practice opportunities as well. One does find a good number of kindred
souls playing the game. The single most negative thing about Internet Bridge
is that etiquette is not always at an appropriate level. The most obvious
weakness is that people jump in and out of a “table” if they do not like
their hand.
However, I have made many friends, some of whom I have played with on more
than one occasion by arranging to “meet,” have connected with people from
all over the world in different time zones, and have had stimulating
conversations via the chat capabilities of the web sites. And, one does not
need to get bogged down in too many conventions. Further, Internet players
are not as serious or as bloodthirsty as those who populate the bridge
clubs. On balance, they are good sports, and fun to play with.
It is not difficult to learn how a new Internet partner plays, given the
mechanics of the web sites.
My take on playing bridge is simple, but remember that it represents the
observations of a rank novice. First, it is all in the cards; if you have
them, you can overcome inexperience and mistakes. Next, play socially, and
for fun. Of utmost importance is the bidding and understanding what your
partner can and will do, and, of course, playing the cards that you have
properly.
Now, having said all of the above, it should be understood that both my wife
and I are having a great time, and considering that most of our play is on
the Internet, with some social playing with friends thrown in, the game is
great.
My addiction? Well, I am now devoting about two or three hours a day to the
various challenges of the game, and continuing to learn. It is not unusual
for me to be “on line” at all hours of the day, evening (and wee hours of
the morning as well) engaged in looking at cards. So much so, that “one more
hand” has become a cry that interrupts meals, and sleep. I do not expect
that this will change.
Oh, yes, those who felt that I would find an appropriate intellectual
challenge were right. I have.
