The Columns of Shauna Kelly

I Don't Want Her, You Can Have Her, *

She's To Smart For Me

.....© by Shauna Kelley , 1999

As anyone who has read my previous columns must know, I find prejudice despicable. I guess one of the problems of being as young as I am is that I had and have confined myself to the mindset that prejudice only comes in racial, religious and gender related forms. Recent events have proven me drastically narrow-minded and basically served me with a harsh slap in the face.

I have never been one to consider myself overly intelligent, though I admit school comes easily for me and I LOVE knowledge and learning new things; however, when an extremely close friend of mine informed me several days ago that I was too smart for him, I was forced to question my views.

Of course my first question to this was why would anyone perceive me to be overly intelligent? Running through my mind are countless instances of trying to push the pull door, or starting a grease fire at work, or staring blankly in German class because I simply cannot grasp the concept of prepositions. I don’t consider myself “too smart” for anyone.

But then again, I guess I fail to see what they see, which is a student at a four star school with a high GPA who says “I did well” rather then “I did good”. And I must wonder, how many other people have fallen victim to intelligence prejudice?

I guess to me it seems odd that anyone would find intelligence intimidating, considering that I myself have been around intelligent people all of my life. I thoroughly enjoy a conversation with someone “smarter” then I am, because I can learn from them and allow their views and opinions to alter my own and make them better. I also thoroughly enjoy shooting pool with my friends while discussing such deep issues as how the sex scene in American Beauty seems impossible, and how My So-Called Life should never have been canceled. And I have been known to flip back and forth between the History Channel and the Simpsons on occasion.

So where does this fear of intelligence come from? Perhaps people don’t want to be around someone who makes them nervous about ending sentences with prepositions. Perhaps being around someone we perceive to be more intelligent then ourselves makes us feel inferior, a feeling which no one cares for. Yet, I think that a person who uses their intelligence to make others feel below them really lacks the most important kind of intelligence there is- a knowledge of kindness and humanity.

I hate to revert back to the first grade with the “everyone is different” speech, but I simply must. My roommate can look at a painting and tell me everything there is to know about the artist, the period, the style and deeper meaning when I see pretty colors. A very close friend of mine can tell you every part of a shark’s anatomy, when the depth of my knowledge about sharks comes from watching Jaws a few too many times. My best friend can do calculus when I am struggling to pass a course lovingly nicknamed “Math for Plants” because your common house cacti could ace it. I can read a book and find so many levels inherent in it that I appears to me an onion when many other people toss it aside and label it boring.

So why do people think I’m smart? Because I speak with as correct grammar as possible? Because I go to a good school? Because I earned a high score on my SATs? They might as well look at me and say I am inferior because I am a women and my skin is white. They might as well see that my clothes aren’t designer labels and therefore assume that I am inferior.

Now I’m not purporting here that you should only associate with people “smarter” then you. This would be an utterly humbling and ultimately rather boring prospect. Rather, I feel that the more diverse the people one associates with, the better a person will become. I have the friends I can be silly with, and the friends that I can discuss philosophy with and many friends that I can do both with. This keeps me balanced- the mental and social stimulation I need on all levels.

Perhaps it is only people my age, but I am alarmed at the prospect that intelligence is another means by which to pre-judge a person, and will be another hurdle I have to overcome in order to be considered equal to those around me. The terrifying part is that this form of judgment does not defy what our first grade teachers told us about what’s inside being most important. No one has ever said to me “Shauna, you are too thoughtful, I’m sorry I just can’t be around you.” I have never looked at a person and said “I’m sorry, you’re just too nice for me.” These may seem ridiculous, but to me so do the words “You’re too smart for me”.

* With apologies: From an old Arthur Godfrey Tune - "I Don't Want Her, You Can Have Her, She's Too Fat For Me!"

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