Forensic Cosmetology III
The Poker Party
.... by D. Grant DeMan
What seemed like a harmless poker party at a local motel became a
costly trap for some enterprising shady citizens - all in the cause of the
greater good. Of course!
I had two black ladies showing. Sailor looked deeply into my soul from
behind his stack of blue and red chips. "I'm waiting," he whispered. Merve
to the right, and Spidy, on the left had folded. Laye was grinding ice into
a half glass of VO, his face like Dracula, eerie, flashing red and green in
the neon of the Shady Lane Motel here on the East Strip. Butler was in the
can when I heard another knock at the door.
"I'll get it this time," I was mighty relieved to break the game's
tension for a spell.
"Room 104? Gotcher merchandise right here," A cabby, appearing spiffy
in a wicker peaked cap and bow tie, entered lugging a case of Old Granddad.
"That'll be a C-note, cash on the barrel head, gents."
"Yeah. Well, guess what Sylvester? You're busted! Into the next room."
I said, waving my shield. Spidy opened the adjoining suite door and led the
poor schmuck through to take his place among fellow cab hacks, hookers and
pushers assembled there for a trip to jail in the Black Mariah. Rookies
Greg Vinci and Ryan Maloney stood guard, ostensibly unmoved, while smiling
hookers rubbed sultry bodies against their uniforms in vain effort to cozy
themselves out the front door.
Vinci grinned from ear to ear: "Honey. Now you stop all that stuff. Now
a cop's gotta do his job, don'tcha know? You got your role to play, and I
got my role. Maybe later on, some fine morning, we got different roles and
we'll talk about that later, when all this company ain't present."
"Okay Darlin'. I knows you all like a few rolls with Sweet Honey for
breakfast," she laughed in that seductive way that only the finest girls
know.
Another knock. The door opened yet again. "Hi Spidy! Hey Merve. You
guys living it up here in the motel. Naughty, naughty like? Little smoker
going on, hey? Gotcha two of our finest farmer's daughters, Prunella and
Daisy Mae, and a case of the finest."
Merve showed his badge. "You're going down, Chester."
"Gawd Merve. You and Spidy and all you Township boys wouldn't do this
to a friend would you?"
"Cop's just gotta do his job, Ches. It's our work, you understand? For
the greater good."
In all, the hoosegow swallowed five cabbies and a dozen neon ladies
that early morning, leaving Blue Squad with a phalanx of procedural forms.
But the episode rattled my fillings bitterly because these folks were
buddies to be relied on for cooperation in effecting more serious arrests.
I was about to leave as the Chief Constable came out of his office;
"Damn fine netting operation you boys performed last night.
Congratulations."
"Well Chief, I hope we did more good than harm."
"Know exactly how you feel Constable, but you see those folks are from
the City, and being City, they pay absolutely no taxes whatsoever here in
the Township."
"Well, they got City offices Chief. They don't do as much business..."
"That's were you are absolutely not correct. Aware the Township is
totally dry, and got absolutely no whore houses to speak of, those waddies,
along with corn-still farmers of certain concessions, run their stuff to
our motels, hotels and parties and such - free as the breeze through the
trees. So they go downtown now and then, and pay a fine or two, and right
quick back on the horse making ilicit deliveries again."
"They have families to feed, I suppose."
"True. But the Township requires revenue, and we don't get it from them
unless..."
"So twice a year our guys put on a fancy dress ball, throw a party and
invite them?"
"Coreeect! Taxes. Pays your salaries and a mite more to boot. Nobody's
out of pocket. Everybody's happy and it's all absolutely for the greater
good. You had a fine time, didn't you boys?"
"Reckon we did."
"So where's the rub? As the Bard would ask." The Chief stuffed a pipe
in his mouth, pulled on his white Stetson, and exited laughing.
Sure enough, seven months later we repeated our masquerade and an
identical crowd fell for it hook, line and sinker. This time however, I saw
Vinci and Maloney leave the jailhouse next morning with Sweet Honey and
Daisy Mae. But I didn't ever mention that fact to a soul.
You betcha! For the greater good, some things we just do not speak of.
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