Micro-Organisms Sometime ago, following an uncomfortable chastisement session gleefully provided me by Christians regarding certain personal sins of the flesh, I began to take a good look around at what the cosmos of God had wrought. To seek, as it were, a more comfortable faith; a belief system which would console my longings without deprivation, a persuasion which would permit witches and homosexuals to live, that did not proclaim the bat to be a bird, nor the world to be a youth of six thousand years. One that failed to surmise that the kangaroos on Noah's Ark somehow swam to Australia, the Jaguars and armadillos to America, following The Flood.God's Chosen People?
by D. Grant DeMan
A creed which might permit me to delight in a few private sins.
Magically I beheld the living things, in their own auras of glory and found one common trend among all: the drive to survive! Every organism, it seemed, strives in self-centered determination, particularly the Homo Sapiens whose instinctive carnality appears boundless. But other mammals, reptiles, amphibians and certainly fish are not much lesser in this regard. Take a peek at plants, while you're at it: disgustingly avaricious, as are fungi and slime moulds. Sun-blocking trees, reaching for the skies greedily deprive lesser botanicals of photosynthetic life. Squirrels, thinking perhaps that the Lord created acorns just for them, remain blindly oblivious to the inner needs of mosses, lichens, vines and mushrooms. And few creatures are as aggressive as a flock of starlings. This good hard examination, entailing a god-like overview and a bit of research, led me to one inescapable inference: Micro-organisms, not man nor any other living entities, are the most successful life-forms on this planet.
Wildlife Cartoon by
Glenn BruckerSuspiciously, there is nary a word regarding our minute friends in the Judeo-Christian Bible. Nor in the Koran either, as far as I can ascertain. What, pray tell was the point in leaving mute His most important creation? The existence of which allows all others to live?
My thesis then clearly demonstrates that carnivorous mammals, which along with eagles and alligators, we commonly but incorrectly ascribe as dwelling at the very pinnacle of the food chain, form a mere frail branch of the animal world, which in turn exists as a minuscule filament of the eukarya along with the flagellates, ciliates and slime moulds. Conversely they should be viewed as minor players in the life-force of this world. That the status of life-forms, if status indeed exists in God's earthly kingdom (or Satan's, depending upon your cult-view), goes entirely in the opposite direction. Indeed, does not the bacteria dine on the buzzard? That the dominant forms are truly the microorganisms, whom we know can adapt shape, size and bodily desires to meet the challenge of any environment presented them, even deadly antibiotics and penicillin, thus flourishing in and upon every millimeter of the planet. Perhaps even in outer space.
Unlike most other living things, they seem never to become discouraged for long, rarely depressed, and communicate long distances without so much as a telephone. They do well sans clothing and shelter. They are seldom lonely, for a milliliter of water may contain ten million of their fellow beings. They do not sin, so have no need for redemption.
We must then come to but one conclusion: God created microbes in His image; and subsequently manufactured the rest of the living world to toil in their service. That they were to subjugate the rest of us: "Go forth and multiply." He quite possibly told them. "The Lord will provide you with plenty."
You bet. Everything seems to be ideally created for microscopic creatures. They make good homes within and dine upon everything else, including rock I'm told. I realize that in many instances we call their endeavors a disease as they discomfort, or devour our loved ones. But we praise their activity when it enriches our lives: giving the atmosphere its oxygen and digesting our wastes.
It is on that note that my theory bares out its illuminating truth: If it were not for microorganisms we could not survive. But: Microscopic organisms would exist regardless.
So logically they may well be "God's chosen people."
And quite likely we are just their barn-yard beasts among the plants and fungi. Yes indeed, they are the huntsmen and farmers. The rest of the living world resides here only as a microorganistic agricultural entity.
Hallelujah!
Now, that's settled, I wonder where they built their church?
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