....by Tom Harper
"Will we take the tracks or go through the woods?"
"Tracks, I like to walk on the rails."
"You know it will slow us up."
"Its OK, we have plenty of time."
"Today's Friday."
"So."
"So we have a science quiz every Friday, are you ready?"
"Ready as any Friday."
"What's the difference between cirrus and cumulus clouds?"
"Cirrus are curled and thin and cumulus are bubbled and piled on top of each other."
"Isn't it strange that each week the first and the last question on the test are always the same."
"Yeah, its weird."
"Question one; "Mr. K-A-R-L-H-A-A-U-S", ten points please."
"Why is he so keen that we spell his name right ?"
"I bet its because people have been spelling it wrong all his life."
"Yeah, but what good is it going to do us when were older?"
"No good at all, how many Karlhaaus's are there in the world?"
"Not many."
"SHIT! I keep slipping of the rail, balance not so good today."
"Hey, I bet he asks about the Ichneumon wasp."
"Yeah, that's one bad insect man."
"I think its cool that their sting only paralysis's the caterpillar before they lay their eggs inside the fatty part."
"Yeah, and when those babies hatch they are just as smart, eating the fatty bits firsts so that the heart, lungs and brain stay working to keep the rest of the meat fresh. They eat that vital stuff last."
"Think the caterpillar can feel himself being eaten from the inside out?"
"Don't know, but if I were an insect I'd want to be a wasp and not some poor fat caterpillar."
"Damn, fell off again."
"What do you think about question ten, "What does everybody have?"
"Well, I suppose he has a point. I mean, look at Jerome Sobilinski."
"Yeah, that guy's such a nerd."
"And with a name like that he's bound to have a hard time."
"If there is a God, Jerome won't end up a sixth grade science teacher."
"Yeah, when you think about it, look at Jake Colligan. He only sees his dad one Sunday a month."
"Yeah and his mother is not a nice person."
"And then there's Pitt Washington, he doesn't even know who his father is!"
"Well he's better off than Dan Harder. He keeps saying that he's getting into fights with some older kids on his way home from school but I know his father hits him."
"Yeah, he'd be better off without a father."
"And what do you think about Rett Rutledge. When I pass his house on trash day there are always a dozen cases of empty beer bottles put out for collection. Wonder what his house is like at night?"
"I'm on a streak here man, watch."
"I can see Karlhaaus's point, but why do you think he asks it each week. I mean, he doesn't know all these things about the class."
"I think he just wants to drill it into our heads that he won't listen to excuses when our homework is late. You know the game - Mr. Karlhaaus, I couldn't do my homework because my grandmother died - "Tough, remember question ten, everybody has problems."
"Fair enough."
"Yeah, but its so stupid. I know the correct answer and I want my ten points, but he's so selfish."
"What do you mean?"
"Look at Bruce Smith. Jesus, he wasn't even in school last year. We brought his home work to him each night, he couldn't even get out of bed. Most of the time he didn't have any hair. Spent half the year in the hospital."
"He's back this year."
"Yeah, but who knows for how long. The point is that Bruce has got real problems. Is this the stuff Karlhaaus is testing us about? It would be one thing if he was trying to teach us something but I think he's just trying to stop us from moaning about our homework."
"I get you now."
"Well, Karlhaaus has got problems too. His problem is that he'll be teaching sixth grade science class for the rest of his life."
"Got that right."
"Hey, the bell's going to ring any minute."
"Race you across the field."
"O.K. "
"On your marks, get set, GO."
