The Art of Procrastinating
.....by Richard Koss
As a CPA, I had become used to fighting deadlines and due dates most of my
professional life. Over the years, I discovered that I did some of best
work when my back was really against the wall, so much so, that I found
myself putting off some pretty important things until the last minute. This
carried over into my personal life and at times, I became very unhappy with
myself, not to mention the apprehension of others, who would occasionally
worry if I was going to have something finished for them on time.
A couple of years ago, while browsing at a bookstore, I saw an advertisement
for a book on the jacket of a paperback. The book was called “How to Avoid
Procrastination,” and it looked very interesting. At last, I thought, I
could finally put and end to this character defect that had plagued me for
so many years. I envisioned myself becoming better organized, more relaxed,
and relieving myself of all those terrible anxieties that would build up
inside of me.
I approached the young girl at the counter and asked her if she had the
book. After checking the title on her computer terminal, she said, “We don’
t have it in stock but I can order it for you and we’ll have it in a week.”
“That would be just fine,” I replied. Then she told me her name was
Michelle and she would call me as soon as it came in. She cautioned me
however, that they would hold the book only for three days after it arrived.
Tax season had begun and I was starting to work later and later. One
evening I came home just before eight and played back some messages on my
answering machine. “This is Michelle from Borders book store. The book
you ordered, “How to avoid Procrastination” has come in. You can pick it up
anytime, but remember Mr. Koss, we will only hold this book for two more
days. We’re open until nine-thirty. See you soon.” The store was only a
twenty minute drive but I felt too tired to run up there, besides, I had
already made myself a Martini and settled down on the couch.
The next evening, I met someone for a drink and a quick dinner after work
and didn’t get home until after nine. A new message from Michelle was on my
machine, pretty much the same as the previous night except there was more
emphasis on the fact that they were only going to hold the book for one more
day. “ Must go there tomorrow,” I vowed to myself, actually believing what I
said.
The following day found me even busier than usual and although I was tired
at six, one of my old tax clients insisted I have a drink with him since he
was my last tax appointment for the day. There was something lingering in
the back of my mind, but I couldn’t think of it as he rambled on about his
wonderful kids and a bunch of other bullshit until I finally had enough and
was able to convince him that I was tired and needed my rest.
.
It was exactly eight when I opened my apartment door just in time to hear
the phone ringing. After managing a tired hello, I heard the young lady’s
pleasant voice. “Mr. Koss, this is Michelle from Borders. We’re still
holding the book you ordered, “How to Avoid Procrastination.” Haven’t you
got my messages?” “Oh, ah, yes I have Michelle, but I’ve been working late
and just haven’t found the time to pick it up.” “Well we’re only open until
nine-thirty tonight, and it will be sent back tomorrow if you don’t come and
get it.” “Yeah, I guess I’d better muster enough energy to come down and
pick it up.” “ Well, you’ve got over an hour before we close, ” she
replied, with some concern. Then there was stone silence for a couple of
seconds. “ You are going to pick up the book aren’t you, Mr. Koss?"
Then, more silence. " Mr. Koss, you really need this book!”
I sat down on the couch smiling and remembering her cute little scolding.
Then I fell asleep. I never did read that book.