The Supremes

I think somebody must have switched my newspaper with Variety. The Supremes are going to pick our next president?! I thought they broke up after losing that endorsement contract with Coca-Cola.

This Supreme Court has done more for states rights than Robert E. Lee. and now they are going to over rule a State Supreme Court? I thought I'd witness the second coming before that. Which, if I'm not mistaken, we are about to see.

It didn't seem likely, at first. As usual the Republicans out spent the Democrats by 2-1 and Dubya still lost the popular vote by 330,000.

Dubya couldn't even get most of the votes cast in Florida, although it looks like he's going to get most of the votes counted. State Republicans have been pulling more strings than an octopus playing the harp and the best they could do was an official 500 vote lead. The term "official" meaning "Republican."

When that didn't stick Ms. Harris, the Secretary of State, called time while the ball was still in play. And now, to avoid the instant replay, The Supreme Court has decided to take the ball and go home. Game over.

The best joke of the day came from the pen of Justice Anthony Scalia. His eminence from the right offered the opinion that "The counting of votes...does threaten irreparable harm..." to the Republicans. No kidding? That's a shame.

This election is starting to give politics a bad name. If this was a movie it would be one of those wide-screen spectacles from the fifties. "Gone With The Chad", a story of passion and adventure sweeping up from the swamps of Tallahassee to the swamps of Washington, D.C.. Starring Dubya as Scarlet O'Hara. "I swear, as long as there is a breath in my body my family will never be out of the White House again!"

You think I'm joking? Have you seen Dubya's cabinet picks? Daddy's secretary of Defense as his Vice President. Daddy's Chief of the Joint Chiefs as his Secretary of State. Somebody should have told the Republicans the retro-look is dead.

It's as if Dubya is borrowing Daddy's sedan for the night and we're the car. Let's just hope that when he returns the keys the country still has some gas left in the tank and there's no lawn decorations in the grill.

Dubya reminds me of a guy I knew when I was in high school His father got him a summer job as a caddy at the local country club. He missed his first day of work because he spent twenty minutes looking for the employee's parking lot and then gave up. After that he was the only caddy to use the valet.

Say, you don't think this could be a continuation of that impeachment thing, do you? I mean, some people called that an attempted coup. And the only thing coup like missing so far from this election is the faint aroma of gun powder.

Speaking of guns, if the next time you see Mr. Charlton Heston he's smiling, he should be. Moses has led the National Rifle Association to victory, yet again. No safety locks on their agenda. Just a small desk in a corner of the oval office.

So inauguration Day should be a very happy day for the Republicans. It took them 8 years, a lot of hard work and they even had to sell off some of their principles to pay for it, but they finally got rid of Bill Clinton. Now if they could just do something about the Junior Senator from New York, the world would be perfect.

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Kimit Muston is a writer living in North Hollywood. If you have any comments about his columns,
he may be contacted at inditer.com

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